Two stone lighter...

...(and a couple of pounds)

Remarkably. I lapsed on Saturday. I dropped in on a next door neighbour and the naughty minx pressed wine on me. Oh bend my rubber arm, why don't you! It was lovely, sitting in the september afternoon sun (yes, the sun came out for my lapse), sipping and gossiping, while the children played, and flooded her bathroom. (This we didn't discover until later. Serve us right for drinking on the job!) So I rolled home, pissed, which was quite an achievement for someone who would need a couple of bottles to feel tipsy before, and dialled a pizza.

:(

FOOL!

Anyway, I ate about two slices and then felt so disgusting, I spat out what was in my mouth and chucked the remainder in the bin. The only person I was fooling was myself.

Despite this, I weighed myself earlier that morning (i.e. before the lapse), and without clothes I was 10stone and 3lbs, which gives me a BMI of 25, i.e. NORMAL! My scales come up lighter than that in my lighter life session, which I put down to having clothing, and getting weighed later in the day. I am hoping that this naughtiness has not thrown me too much. I felt wretched the following day, like I had a hangover.

My LLC asked when I wanted to start Route to Management, i.e. when I wanted to start introducting food again. She thinks I am going to hit my 10 stone very shortly. Truth is, I am naturally supposed to be smaller than 10 stone, I am very small.. only 5 foot 2, and small boned. I would probably be better at about 9 stone. But I don't want to over do it either. It is bad enough that you need to be food obsessed on this diet, but you don't want to develop eating disorders on top of that. (Not that I anticipate any food disorder except that which I already have, i.e. obsession with pizza and cheese etc.!) It is hard to know. I am actually quite scared that it will all pile on again very quickly as soon as I start eating food again. That I won't know how to stop.